How to create a daily routine for your child? Step by step.

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1-3 years

Often, after the birth of a baby, the new mother and father dream more than anything else of just getting some real sleep.
However, this problem can drag on much later than infancy. And if it is very difficult to control a newborn’s sleep, because... he has his own daily routine, then parents can easily help older children sleep better, while at the same time helping themselves sleep better. After all, you must admit that exhausted parents, always tired from lack of sleep, who sleep on the go and get irritated “out of the blue” are not the best educators.

The key to restful sleep

One of the most common myths about sleep is the myth that children DO NOT SLEEP at night. This is wrong. Children are not their own enemies and they want to sleep no less than we adults do. Of course, there are exceptions - children who hardly sleep or sleep very little, but even such children can be helped by applying the following tips. Before using them, make sure that the problem is sleep and that the child is not sick, hungry or thirsty.

To begin with, it is important to understand: a child’s night sleep begins in the morning.

If the day has been very busy, your baby may be quite agitated by the evening. Therefore, before “sending” him to sleep, he should be calmed down.

At the same time, even factors completely invisible to parents can influence the child’s condition.

If your home has a TV on as a constant background, pay attention to what TV programs serve as this background. Crime series are unlikely to have a good effect on a child’s nervous system. Even if these are just cartoons, the characters often scream in them, leading young viewers into an excited state. And between the cartoons they often show short, but very necessary news inserts that can unsettle even an adult. These frames can be deposited in the child’s subconscious and then emerge before bedtime - just at a time when he is not thinking about anything special. And a terrible picture of a speeding car from the news about an accident, shooting bearded guys from a military report or other “desserts” for the brain can stand before his eyes, frightening him and preventing him from falling asleep.

It also matters what mom and dad talk about with each other in the presence of the child. Children have a well-developed imagination, but due to a lack of life experience, analytical abilities and logic are not sufficiently developed. Therefore, often just one carelessly thrown frightening phrase or a terrible tone is enough for the child to start thinking about everything else before going to bed, imagining everything in the darkest colors. Too happy or positive news also has an exciting effect. Therefore, if you find out that your long-awaited aunt from San Francisco will soon visit you and bring you a lot of chocolate, you may not need to tell your child this right before bed.

Try to think about your child's sleep throughout the day and do everything in your power to ensure that your child arrives at bedtime calm and unexcited.

Night rituals

Starting from a very early age, when chaos in a child’s routine gives way to a constant routine, it makes sense to accompany bedtime with a ritual. A bedtime ritual is a series of simple, sequential steps designed to help you get your baby into the right frame of mind and get him to sleep when he needs it.

Start by putting your child to bed at a consistent time. Do this always.

Of course, there are various force majeure events in which the usual schedule deviates in one direction or another. But in general, the child’s bedtime should be constant. Some parents believe that putting their child to bed at 8:00 pm one night, 10:00 pm the next, or whenever the child wants to sleep is a good idea. No, that's not a good idea. Children need a routine, including for their inner peace. Therefore, two things must remain the same - bedtime and bedtime. If your baby falls asleep in his crib, he should fall asleep there every night. And not a day in the crib, a day in the salon, a day in mom’s arms.

Then we move on to the main phase, actually going to bed. Many parents think that it consists of only one phase - falling asleep. This is mistake. It consists of several parts preceding falling asleep itself, which are no less important. The ritual can be anything, for example, this:

dinner;
bath;
book;
dream.

In our family, this ritual worked like a charm. In this case, dinner should begin at the same time every day. This time should also be constant, like your bedtime.

Before dinner, which becomes a harbinger of sleep, we prepare the WHOLE house for bed:

reduce the volume of the TV, or better yet, turn it off completely;
dim the lights in the room;
we finish all active, exciting games;
We switch to lower tones in conversation.

This way, day after day, you prepare your baby for bed.

How to organize daytime sleep for a child under one year old

In the literature you can find the opinion that a child under 3 months should sleep 16–18 hours a day, with age this amount gradually decreases. However, it should be noted that in fact the required amount of sleep is very individual, and each child sleeps exactly as much as he needs, no more and no less. You just need to create the necessary conditions for this.

Firstly, from a very early age, the environment during the day should be sharply different from the night - this will help the baby build the right routine. This means that there is no need to darken the room with curtains, turn off the lights, just slightly shade it so that the harsh light does not fall on the face. There is no need to create absolute silence. During daytime sleep, ordinary household sounds are quite appropriate - quiet conversation, clinking of dishes, the sound of pouring water, etc.

Secondly, the room where the child sleeps, regardless of day or night, must be well ventilated. And if possible, it is better to organize at least one nap during the day outside. Only without fanaticism: you should not walk with your child in severe frost (above 15–20°C) and in strong winds, as well as in extreme heat. Babies are known to easily become hypothermic and overheated.

If a child must sleep in his crib at night, then it is quite possible to organize a baby’s daytime sleep in a stroller. If your baby wakes up often, it may be more convenient for you to constantly have him next to you, rather than listening to every sound from the nursery and running to the slightest squeak before the capricious one starts screaming.

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I do not want to sleep!

Most likely, if you are reading this article, your child does not want to fall asleep and is resisting this in every possible way. You put the baby in the crib, covered him with a blanket, and kissed his forehead. And then the most interesting thing begins: the child begins to jump up, scream, run, cry, wants to drink and asks to go to the toilet, and preferably at the same time. At this stage, you should understand that your child is having a hard time falling asleep and you should help him. He doesn't fall asleep because he doesn't know how, and he needs to be taught.

The first and basic rule. If you don't learn it, you won't be able to teach your baby to sleep.

Do not yell at your child or get angry with him under any circumstances.

Drink herbal tea, turn on Vivaldi's concerto in A minor in your headphones, hug your cat - most importantly, calm down.

Then proceed to the second stage. Prepare yourself mentally that you will have to approach the child several times. Perhaps five. Perhaps ten. Perhaps fifteen. This evening and all subsequent evenings when you teach your child to sleep, there is nothing more you can do. So don’t plan anything other than to collapse exhaustedly on your bed.

Say good night to your child and leave the room. He will get up and run after you. Pick him up and bring him back to bed. If the child does not want to stay in his bed and tries to get out of it, you need to put him back without any conversation. Not right away, otherwise it resembles a fun game of “try and put me down!” Wait half a minute, put the baby back and cover him with a blanket. You should not ask him to lie flat and not move. Let him sit, fidget, or even stand on his head, the main thing is that he does not leave the bed.

Your task at this stage is to keep the child within the bed. These are the boundaries now. You performed the ritual - read, ate, drank, spent time together. Now it's time to sleep. If you believe in the concept of bedtime, it will become your religion and soon your child's religion. If you think “bedtime” is an unnecessary abstract concept, your child will too.

“I don’t want to sleep!” the child may say. No problem at all. Tell him: “You don’t have to sleep, but you stay in bed.” Moreover, there is no need to insist that the child “sleep” and “fall asleep,” otherwise these things turn into a stumbling block. Replace this concept with “rest” and use this word. It is much softer and you don’t have to force yourself to fall asleep.

So, the baby is in the crib. But not for long. He will get up and go out. Each time this happens, you will gently guide him back to bed. Don't get angry and don't shout. You can quietly say “good night” to your child.

Now comes the hard part for parents. The child begins to show dissatisfaction - scream, be indignant and cry. This is where most parents give up. However, you can work effectively with a child’s screaming and crying without making the child feel bad. I'll tell you how.

Help your baby calm down. Hug him, hold him to your chest, tell him you love him. Hold him for a while, then put him back to bed and leave the room. If your child doesn't come out, give him a minute to get used to the idea of going to bed. Then go in and hug him again. If he gets up and leaves the room, bring him back to his crib.

This ritual must be performed calmly, lovingly and at the same time firmly. If you firmly believe in the benefits of nighttime sleep and that both adults and children need a good night's sleep, your child will believe it too.

At some point you will feel like you want to give up - pick up the child in your arms, carry him to you. You can do this, but remember: in a day you will have to start all over again.

Sleep training can take anywhere from a few days to 2-3 weeks.

How to put a baby to sleep

Teach your child to distinguish between daytime and nighttime sleep. Establish a clear sleep schedule;
Don't let your baby become overtired, as overtiredness only interferes with sleep. As soon as you see that the baby is tired, rubbing his eyes and yawning, put him to bed!;
After three months, begin to gradually establish a bedtime routine. You can take a bath, read a story, play a quiet game or sing a lullaby. Use what your baby likes!;
Follow the sequence of actions of the daily ritual!;
After 6 months, let your baby fall asleep on his own;
Wake up your baby in the morning if he sleeps longer than expected. It’s good if you wake up your child at the same time;
For children after 1.5-2 years, begin the transition from two naps during the day to one nap during the day. However, this transition is difficult, and to make the process easier, alternate days with one and two naps during the day. For one nap, put your baby to bed early in the evening;
For older kids, you can offer an alternative. But choose the options so that they suit you too. For example, ask your baby if he wants to go to bed now or in 5 minutes. 5 minutes does not play a special role, and at the same time the child is glad that he chose;
Let your child choose which toy he will sleep with or what pajamas he will wear.

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You behave badly - I'll send you to bed!

Are you familiar with this threat?

Meanwhile, phrases like “Don’t disturb me, or you’ll go to bed early!” or “Stop pinching your brother or I'll put you to bed” should disappear from your vocabulary forever.

Remember: babies love to sleep! Sleep is a great opportunity to restore strength in order to test the strength and endurance of your parents the next day. Therefore, it is extremely important that the right attitude towards sleep is developed in the family.

Don't threaten your child's sleep! In this case, he will begin to perceive it (as well as everything connected with it) as a punishment, and he will not even want to lie in the hated bed at night. Sleep, bed, bedroom should evoke only positive emotions in the child and seem like something pleasant and desirable.

“Olya is already sleeping...”

From a certain age, when your child goes to kindergarten, he often repeats the actions of other children. You can take advantage of this when preparing him for bed.

“Olya from kindergarten is already asleep. She ate, brushed her teeth, lay down in her crib and fell asleep. All the children from the kindergarten are already lying in their beds and sleeping. And mom and dad go to bed too.” At the same time, it would be nice to yawn sweetly. I think you can do this with ease!

By the way, a message about mom and dad’s plans has a good effect on children, since they often think that when they fall asleep, they miss the most interesting things. “As soon as I fall asleep,” the child thinks, “mom and dad put on cone-shaped hats, turn on the music and start dancing. Maybe even jumping on the sofas! And all this - without me! I can’t miss this!”

Dimmed light and silence in the apartment will help the child immerse himself in the atmosphere of sleep and convince him that everyone at home is going to follow his example.

Scary bedtime stories

When reading a book to a child for bedtime or singing a lullaby, we often do not pay attention to what exactly is said in the fairy tale or song. We sing a lullaby and are no longer surprised that if you lie on the edge, “a little gray top will come and bite you on the side.” We read “Fly-Tsokotukha” to the child and expressively describe the dramatic events unfolding in the fairy tale: “Suddenly some old man Spider dragged our Fly into a corner...”. Or a fairy tale that takes place in a dark, dark forest, where at some stage one of the characters dies, even if it is a negative character. Excellent support for a child's nervous system! What do you think of the scarecrow with Babayka, who comes to “naughty” children at night? Try to sleep here!

What I mean is that you also need to choose a bedtime story carefully and try to ensure that it under no circumstances contains frightening plots or pictures.

Our first trip to the country with a baby

28th Jul 2017

Hello, dear readers! I know that some mothers are “through thick and thin” and continue to travel as soon as the baby is a couple of weeks old, but apparently I’m not one of those. However, one fine day (and the weather was really great), I said to my husband: Shouldn't we rush to the dacha? At that time, my daughter had just turned 4 months old, and we did not go anywhere together except to the clinic. And in literally half a day we packed up and left for the city!

Despite the fact that I really like to plan everything, sometimes I make impulsive decisions, and this makes our life much brighter. Before having a child, I could buy tickets to Paris two days before departure and my birthday, or unexpectedly quit my job on the first day after my vacation. Nowadays, you can rarely allow yourself to be impulsive - when you are 99% attached to your child and you have a huge responsibility and fear for the baby ... In general, what I mean is that I felt super cool when I decided to rush out of town for three days without prior preparation: )) I must say, this was, as always, a great decision! I am writing this post for those who doubt or want, but are afraid, to go somewhere overnight with an infant for the first time.

I'm walking in the country with my daughter

And then the turmoil began... We collected the essentials: a first aid kit, diapers, disposable diapers and lots and lots of children's clothing, which still turned out to be not enough. We went by car, so we also took a car seat with an arch - my daughter simply adores it. The best way to keep your child busy on the road. Not to say that our baby loves to ride in the car, but after 20 minutes she was already asleep.

The most important thing that I feared was inappropriate behavior in a new place , alien to my daughter, a kind of acclimatization. But my fears were not justified! The baby behaved wonderfully and slept a lot in the fresh air. Fortunately, our dacha is located in the forest, and we have no neighbors on 3/4 of the cardinal directions. Silence and grace. One evening my daughter fell asleep so soundly on the street that she wandered off into the night. We carried her into the house, changed her clothes - and she didn’t wake up! This is what fresh air does to people. By the way, it has a magical effect on the parents themselves - it’s been a long time since I slept so soundly or ate so much. The attention of the grandparents also came in handy - the mother was able to rest and relax a little. The child was very interested in the new environment. If she looked at our small apartment with interest for almost 4 months, then here is a rather large house and plot that can be studied for a long time) Upon arrival home, by the way, the apartment again seemed like a wonder to the little one, so interest was renewed with renewed vigor.

Our dad plays with his daughter in the country

Over the weekend, mom managed to tie up, sleep, and play cards, while dad assembled a greenhouse, grilled kebabs, and put his daughter to bed. Needless to say, I had a blast here)) It’s good when the family understands that sometimes mom needs to be given a break. So now the question “how to relax with a baby” is no longer on my mind!

As for clothes and medicines: a first aid kit, thank God, was not needed, but five slips were barely enough - everything got dirty once or twice. There is a washing machine at the dacha, but we decided not to load it so as not to wait for it to dry. In three days we used 15 diapers and 5 disposable diapers. In our case, there are no problems with food at all - we used to eat right on the street without going into the house. The only problem that arose: on the way back, I got a little chest cold. This is very easy to do - you just need to sweat or not notice the milk leak, and then sit in the car with the window open or just stand in the wind. Fortunately, everything was done with a cabbage leaf and a light massage.

Will we still go to the dacha with a baby? Undoubtedly! Unfortunately, I don’t manage to find every weekend, but I’m looking forward to it. A change of environment is very important for mother and baby. So, if you are still wondering whether it’s worth going out of town with your baby, go and don’t be afraid of anything! Or be afraid, but not too much) try to take your mind off household chores and gain strength! Nature, like nothing else, helps to recharge your “battery”