When to start raising a child?

The proper upbringing and development of a healthy and full-fledged child is a task that only patient and loving parents can solve. Adults who want to see their children smart, talented and comprehensively developed people in the future should start working on this from the first days of the birth of a newborn.

Modern parents have the right to choose the most progressive methods of education, or, on the contrary, following the behests of their grandmothers, raise their child according to conservative, time-tested rules.

However, the best option is, as always, somewhere in the middle. The experience of previous generations should not be neglected, but modern trends in pedagogy and psychology cannot be ignored. Today's parents need, first of all, to study, and it is never too late to learn good and useful things.

Parenting

Family education

The foundations of human character, just like the foundations of human health, are laid at a very early age and are laid precisely in the family. A person begins with a family, and whatever his beginning is, so will his continuation. In families where there is an atmosphere of warmth and love, where everyone shares their feelings with each other, where there is harmony, and parents respect each other, children grow up harmonious and healthy, since the basis of all physical health is internal balance.

Such a family turns into a whole world for the child, reflecting life in all its diversity. Raising children can be done in a variety of ways, but it is necessary to adhere to some simple universal rules:

• respect the child’s personality, do not demand blind obedience from him: try to make sure that his understanding of simple truths occurs as if by itself;
• never humiliate your child, do not punish him physically, remove shouts, commands, threats and insults from your dialogue with him;
• spouses never need to sort out their relationship with each other in front of the child, especially in a raised voice;
• Do not express sweeping, negative opinions about people around you in front of your children;
• do not try to control your child 24 hours a day: if he is busy with something, do not interfere in his affairs until he asks you to do so;
• remember that you are an object of imitation for your child: he learns everything good and bad from you;
• develop “unity of requirements” in the family: it is impossible for mom to prohibit something, and dad to allow it in her absence - “impossible”, this means “impossible under any circumstances.”

Child upbringing and development in kindergarten and school

From 3 to 7 years of age, a child’s development includes complex psychological processes, such as thinking, speech, perception of the world around him, and memory. At this stage, it is very important to provide the child with the opportunity to comprehensively understand reality in general, and society as an integral part of this reality in particular.

The society in which your child will live first appears before him in the form of his kindergarten group. The upbringing of children in preschool institutions should be aimed at teaching them life in society and the rules of interaction with its participants. Competent behavior of kindergarten teaching staff consists of monitoring and wisely guiding the process of adaptation and preparing the child for future life in the team.

Raising a child in the first 3 months of life

20.01.2011 Young parents should know that a child needs to be raised from the first days of life. This is not an exaggeration at all, because a newborn baby hears, sees, distinguishes taste and smell, feels pain and touch. From birth, the baby absorbs all the information with which he is enveloped, and his conditioned reflexes, which have just begun to develop, can reflect this information, which manifests itself in various habits and behavior in general.

Of course, the first rhythm according to which the baby will live is the daily routine. Daily norms of sleep and wakefulness are not established immediately; this takes time. A properly designed routine (including feeding on demand), a favorable atmosphere in the house, and good emotional conditions will create the best conditions for the growth and development of your baby.

One of the most frequently asked questions by mothers is whether to pick up a baby when he is naughty or crying. Some say that it is impossible to accustom a baby to holding hands; others, on the contrary, rush headlong to the child at his first call. What is the right thing to do in such a situation, so as not to foster in the child insecurity, a feeling of loneliness and insecurity, causeless fear on the one hand and pampering, capriciousness on the other? Mom must show special sensitivity. If the baby whines, do not rush to pick him up; perhaps he himself will cope with what he wanted to complain about (turn his head in the right direction, move the diaper himself, etc.), but if the cry becomes shrill, of course, you need to approach to the child, calm him down, pick him up.

When the baby is awake, he should not be left alone in the crib - this will have a bad effect on both physical and intellectual development in the future. You definitely need to talk to him, sing songs, and play with the baby.

From the first months, it is necessary to pay enough attention to sensory education (i.e., the development and improvement of the senses). The little man sees from the first day, but does not yet know how to fix his gaze on any object or person. The baby notices only the largest elements, especially those that are distinguished by contrast. The ability to fix his gaze on something will begin to appear only at the end of the first - beginning of the second month of life: the baby will be able to fix his gaze on his mother longer than before, and will be able to briefly follow a moving rattle (when training this ability, make sure that the rattle is not too loud, baby He hears perfectly, he does not like sharp sounds, they can even frighten him).

In the second and third months of life, the child can focus on a standing person, examine his face, even look from the person to the toys hanging above the crib, and can follow a swaying thing or a moving object. If there is nothing in front of him, he looks with his eyes for some object that interests him and fixes his gaze on it. At this time, the baby intensively learns to understand the world around him, he begins to develop an attitude towards objects, he begins to recognize them. For example, seeing a bottle of milk, a child stops crying, and, on the contrary, begins to whine when a toy that he already knows well is taken away.

To develop a visual reaction, at the beginning of the second month of a child’s life, it is necessary to hang toys above the crib, teach the baby to follow moving objects (move a rattle from side to side, up, down), pick them up and hold them in an upright position for several seconds. Here you should warn parents: do not hold the baby in a “column” for too long, because the eye muscles of a newborn are still very weak to control eye movement. If you often lift a child in the “soldier” position, the baby may get strabismus.

Talk to your child often. This develops not only the hearing organs, but also contributes to the development of visual perception: the baby tries to find with his eyes the person who is speaking (later he will learn to express emotions towards the speaker - he can smile, be wary, whine...).

Remember the rule: without hearing there is no speech! If a child hears speech and sounds from birth (these should not be sharp sounds and short-lived), then he begins to hum earlier, his articulatory apparatus prepares for speech earlier, the child will begin to speak earlier and his vocabulary will be an order of magnitude larger than in a child who was in conditions of speech deficit.

The development of emotions and movements is beneficial for the child. Parents need to try to create a constant positive emotional state in the baby. To do this, you need to be in the same mindset yourself and talk to the child kindly. A two- and three-month-old baby feels kindness, anticipating communication, he begins to show emotions of animation: move his arms and legs, walk, turn his head to the sides, smile. A little person who grows up in a normal emotional environment develops faster and acquires a positive attitude towards life.

In the second month of life, the child tries to raise his head from a lying position. From the beginning of the third month, parents should begin to develop foot support. You need to lead the child, holding him under the armpits - at first he will move his legs funny, which will be more reminiscent of skipping than steps, later - he will learn to walk.

Try to do everything possible so that your baby grows up to be a strong personality, a kind and brave person! Elena Bazhanova

Good health

Children's health is a value that parents should nurture and protect. The health of a child depends, of course, on pediatricians, visits to clinics and timely vaccinations, but to an even greater extent it depends on parents.

Reasonable, sane parents are quite capable of developing their child so that he gets sick less, and if he gets sick, he recovers quickly.

A happy child is, first of all, a healthy child, and no educational methods can replace full physical development. The foundations of this development must be laid from the first days of the baby’s life, and they consist of non-resistance to the laws of nature and common sense.

Most children are born protected from adverse influences and prepared for changes in environmental conditions. The task of parents is not to allow the child’s innate health to be lost.

Physical education of children should not lag behind mental education: remember that a healthy body has a healthy mind.

Timely treatment

Treating children is the task of pediatricians, but maintaining the health of children at such a level that there is as little treatment as possible is the goal of fathers and mothers.

In other words, if in the first months of a child’s life you create comfortable “greenhouse” conditions for him, then in later life it will be very difficult for him to exist without such conditions. Conclusion - the conditions for the physical development of a child from the first months of life should be close to natural: you should not be afraid (within reasonable limits, of course) of fresh air and temperature changes.

By starting to harden children as early as possible, you will create all the prerequisites so that in the future your children can resist colds and cope with infectious diseases more easily.

Treatment of the baby’s body, carried out by doctors with the help of medicines and by parents with the help of proven folk methods, will be incomplete without healing the child’s soul, which is achieved by faith in God and following universal commandments. Only in this case will the child’s development occur in harmony and joy.

Proper nutrition

Another important point of development, affecting both the child’s health and much else, including his character and intelligence, is nutrition, which plays no less a role in the lives of children than upbringing. The main rule of this point is this: feeding a child should not become the meaning of life for parents.

Children's nutrition must be approached from a natural standpoint. The body of a healthy person initially contains all the physiological needs that regulate both appetite and the amount of food consumed. Appetite is the equivalent of wasted energy: if the baby is active all day, playing in the fresh air, he has corresponding needs for the amount of food. If he spends his days lying in front of the TV, his need to replenish energy will be disproportionately less.

There are basic rules in the nutrition of children, by adhering to which, parents will maintain the health of the baby and their nerves:

• no feeding by the clock: meal times are determined by the child’s appetite;
• no force feeding;
• prevent your baby from being picky in eating food: if the food you prepare is healthy and nutritious, the child should eat what he is given, and not what he wants at the moment;
• feed your child more often, but in small portions;
• food should be easily digestible, low-fat, warm (but not hot), liquid;
• A decrease in a child’s appetite during illness is a natural phenomenon: the more you feed your child during illness, the longer and more severe the illness will last;

When is it too late to raise a child?

come back

Many people have heard that you only need to raise a child until he is three years old, and then, “it’s too late.” Not so long ago in our country there was an opinion that a child under three years of age is not a full-fledged person at all, he has no personality, and it does not matter at all what happens to him at this moment, because only after three years of age does the formation of his personality begin , formation as a person. Now we hear the exact opposite opinion that “after three years it is too late to educate,” everything is already embedded in the child, everything is formed, and nothing can be changed.

Most likely in the future there may be slightly different theories, although there are quite enough of them now, but at the moment teachers and psychologists share a common opinion about the main stages of child development. At the moment, it is believed that at about the age of 12 it is too late to raise a child, since it is at this age that the child ceases to be considered a child, first he becomes a teenager, then an adult. Those. It is impossible to educate a child in something that does not exist, and some attempts to do this lead to negative consequences. After all, it is precisely by the age of 12 years, (approximately at this age, but for some it may be earlier or later) that a person demands a different attitude towards himself, not in the literal sense he demands, namely, an attitude as an adult, and not to educate him like a child. Many parents resist this fact, but in any case they have no choice - the approach must be changed.

Despite the fact that at the age of 12 a child can no longer be called a child, he is still not an adult; he can be considered an adult from the age of 19-20, or even later. And many parents always make a big mistake when they treat a teenager as an adult, when they expect adult decisions and actions from him, and vice versa, when they treat a teenager like a child, trying to raise him. In general, a person has three states - child, teenager, adult, and not two, as many people believe, skipping the teenage period. This period is extremely important and lasts quite a long time, from about 4 to 7 years, this is not a crisis, this is a stage of human development.

Of course, within the period from birth to 12 years there are divisions and characteristics. For example, in the prenatal period it is extremely difficult to influence the psyche of a child, but what does penetrate the psyche of an unborn child will remain there forever, and it is practically impossible to change it. Yes, you can correct it, direct it, but it stays with the person until the very end. It is much easier when the little man is already born.

After birth and up to three years , this is another branch, which also has its own divisions, but there is no need to go into this in more detail. Until a child reaches the age of three, the baby lives in his own world, where he begins to lay the basic foundation for the development of his personality, at this age he learns basic communication skills, gets to know the world, gets acquainted with basic concepts about it, and much more. After three years the foundation is already there, i.e. the basic foundation has been built. Of course, the division and clear boundaries before three and after three do not mean at all that it was at three years old that the child began to form his own “I”, everything is purely individual, for some this process may be delayed, and the foundation may be unfinished. But what is, that is, we will complete it later..

There is an expression in psychology: the worse and more difficult the problem, the much more difficult it is to move it.” If a child has suffered severe psychological trauma before the age of three, then it is not possible to solve the problem completely and eliminate the problem itself; you can only try to move it forward and correct it. The milder the injury, the much easier it is to move it, if not eliminate it altogether. In fact, it turns out that trauma that was not carried out in early childhood affects adulthood, and the repression of this very trauma occurs when the formation process has already ended. And quite often, in order to “move” or get rid of negative consequences, a person turns to a specialist for help, because there is no way to solve the problem on your own; it’s tantamount to cutting out your appendix without having any idea where it is and how to do it. All these facts allow us to assert that even after three years something can be changed; if it is not possible to solve the problem completely, it can at least be “moved” in a positive direction. And, as we know, the laws of physics are such that it is much easier to move a problem in a negative direction; it will fall down and fall on its own, but in order to move it up, you need to work hard.

Further, after three and up to 12 years (it is worth noting that the age indicated is conditional, approximate), the child’s personality itself is formed, awareness of himself in society. Those. after three years, a child understands his own self, then he understands that there is a society, and then he defines himself in it. And it is during this period that the building itself, the thickness of the walls and windows, the dimensions of the building itself and its number of storeys are formed. But in this interval there is still one period - seven years, when before the age of seven, only the internal structure of the child’s personality is formed, and after seven - the external part of the person’s personality, aimed at society (class, school, humanity as a whole).

After twelve years, the formation itself has already ended, the period of childhood has ended and the period of applying what has been learned in practice begins. This is a period of adaptation to the world, sharpening sharp corners, strengthening walls, growing flower beds. This is the period when no longer a child gains some independence and autonomy.

So, now, more specifically, at what age can and should you raise a child? The above says that the child does not need to be raised at all, he will do all this himself, on his own, our goal is not to interfere with the little man’s growth and development. The above does not speak about the age to which one can educate and to what age not, but about the age and up to what point parents can try to correct their own or other people’s mistakes, what was once spoiled in the child by certain circumstances or people. As a result, the conclusion suggests itself - you shouldn’t raise a child - educate yourself, then everything will be fine with both you and the child.

Good luck and harmony in the family! Psychologist, Maria Surygina https://tehhi-karamir.livejournal.com/profile

Spiritual and moral development

The time from 0 to 5 is the most important time in a child’s life - during this period, not only his character is formed, but the foundations of his spirituality and morality. A child who is able to correctly understand another person - his feelings, emotions, thoughts, for whom the concepts of friendship, justice, love are not an empty phrase, endures difficult life situations much more calmly and is resistant to negative influences from the outside.

At a young age, the basis for the moral education of a child’s personality is his emotional responsiveness and innate ability to empathize. The moral upbringing of children directly depends on the environment in which the child lives and develops: ways of behavior in the family are learned by the child as generally accepted norms. If at this stage the parents make some moral and spiritual mistakes, it will be much more difficult to retrain their son or daughter later, in kindergarten and school.

The strategy for educating morality should be aimed not only at mastering the rules accepted by society, but also at developing a sense of unity between the child and his peers, and developing a positive attitude towards all people in general.

You can find answers to your questions about your child’s health, advice on raising them, and recommendations on the physical and spiritual development of the child on our website. We will tell you how best to act in this situation if you are at a loss. Our site will help you find the answer to almost any question about children. Ask and get advice to keep your CHILD HEALTHY!

When should you start raising a child? Prenatal care and education

An old parable is widely known. A mother and father came to the sage, who had a baby who was only five days old. The parents of the newborn asked the sage a question: “Please tell me when should we start raising our child?” To which the sage replied: “You are exactly nine months and five days late...”

You probably often ask yourself the question: “When should you start raising a baby?” “From the moment of his birth,” say the founders of early child development methods and popular wisdom (“You need to raise a child while he is lying across the bench”). But no. It turns out that education can and should be done even before birth.

More than a hundred years ago, scientists drew attention to the fact that in the brain of a newborn there is a certain percentage of atrophied neurons. It was hypothesized that these neurons atrophied due to their lack of demand during the period of intrauterine development of the fetus. At the same time, there was reliable scientific information that the number of nerve cells in the brain largely determines the level of intellectual development and mental maturity of a child. In this regard, in recent decades, first in Europe and then in the USA, ideas have arisen about the advisability of the educational process in the prenatal period of a person’s life in order to preserve and develop the largest number of neurons in the brain.

At the end of the 70s. XX century A new branch of psychology, pedagogy and medicine has appeared - prenatal education. With the creation of new medical equipment (ultrasound, fiber optics, hydrophone acoustic audio recording systems), it became possible to monitor the behavior and condition of the fetus.

In 1982, Japanese scientists using a hydrophone determined that in utero the child hears everything that happens both inside and around the mother. At the same time, all sounds are muffled, losing up to 30% of their volume. The loudest sound was the sound of the mother's heart.

The famous American scientist Stanislav Grof identified four “basic stages” of the prenatal period. The first of them is related to the intrauterine development of the fetus. Various complications, stress, improper behavior or nutrition - everything that can cause various negative experiences in the mother is embedded in the unconscious of the unborn child.

The remaining three stages occur during childbirth itself. First, this is a kind of premonition of “expulsion from paradise”, then the test of enormous physical and mental stress, the ultimate struggle for life and, finally, exit into the air - a triumph, a victory for life. According to Grof, the natural, correct passage of all these stages adapts the child to existence outside the mother, gives him the hardening necessary after the bliss of “paradise”, and forms resilience in life. At the same time, some failures can have a negative impact. For example, there is evidence that children born under anesthesia tend to turn to drugs in difficult situations.

Therefore, the most advanced Western and domestic scientists argue that raising a child should begin from the moment of conception. Moreover, even the moment of conception can influence the further development of the child.

Indeed, preparation for conception is an important factor in the formation of a child. Modern medical and psychological research has shown that the preparations and moods of parents before conception directly affect the course of pregnancy and the intrauterine development of the child. A desired and long-awaited child, especially one not conceived by chance, is programmed in advance for happiness. Such people, when they grow up, become successful in any field they choose, as well as in their personal lives.

Andre Bertin, president of the French National Association of Prenatal Education, writes: “During copulation, the mother and father experience quite strong sensations and feelings, generating a powerful field that makes every cell of their body vibrate, including the gametes that form the embryo upon fusion. This vibration is extremely important. Let's look at two extreme cases.

1. Let's imagine a couple who, one Saturday evening, after a good drink, an argument, and maybe even a fight, is looking for reconciliation in the bedroom. They run the great risk of creating a creature predisposed to lust and violence, since the vibrations of the parents are transmitted to it.

2. At the opposite end of the scale, let's place a couple performing sexual intercourse, experiencing a deep feeling of love for each other and fully aware of the importance of the moment being experienced. Before this, they read, looked at various works of art, listened to good music, which influenced the quality of their vibrations, which became much stronger than those that were inherent in them by nature. This couple has every chance of having a child without defects. Popular wisdom says that children of love are beautiful children. When the planting season arrives, gardeners select seeds and prepare the soil. Thinking people who want to conceive a child will be convinced of the quality of the “seeds” and will try to prepare the ground in the best possible way, that is, they will lead a healthy lifestyle and achieve a certain psychological attitude.”

Based on the above, we can conclude that before conception, you, parents, should prepare.

You know that in the initial period of development - in the first third of pregnancy - the fetus develops not only physiological, but also mental characteristics. Therefore, the time to engage in intrauterine education is not when the fetus begins to “push”, but when the expectant mother discovers that she is pregnant. The most important thing during this period is peace and tranquility in the family and, at a minimum, friendly relations between the future parents. A child born in an atmosphere of love and goodwill experiences, as perinatal psychologists put it, “the experience of heaven,” which has a very positive effect on his entire future life.

Forming the spiritual world of a child can begin in the prenatal period, especially since during this period information is most firmly “fitted on the shelves.” To do this, you yourself need to choose from a large list of what to listen to, what to drink, what to eat, what to look at and what to do.

It is known that sound and color have certain physical properties and can influence a person. They affect the endocrine and vascular systems of the mother and her child. Sounds also influence the formation of the intellectual abilities of the fetus. This means that you yourself can form that picture of your child’s world, give him those abilities and opportunities that you consider necessary for his future future.

Most people, when deciding to have a child, imagine that their capabilities are limited only by the physical accomplishment of everything necessary for this, and everything else - the constitution of the child, his character, abilities, advantages and disadvantages - depends on chance and on the will of God, about which they have no idea no introduction. But since people have heard about the laws of heredity, they have no doubt that their child will be physically and morally similar to their parents, their grandparents, uncles or aunts. But they do not think that they can do anything to promote or hinder this similarity, or even choose anything to be embodied in this child. This is exactly where they are wrong. You, the parents, can influence the child you are about to have.

Most mothers have no idea what impact their internal state, spiritual development, environment, and environment have on the child they carry in their womb. They start taking care of him after his birth, looking for doctors, educators, teachers, etc. But when the child is born, he is already formed and everything is determined! Proponents of prenatal education argue that the human subconscious has long-term memory, so prenatal experience greatly influences his future life.

So, scientists have proven that so-called prenatal education plays an important role in the subsequent mental and intellectual development of the baby. It was found that the educational process in the prenatal period of a child’s life helps to preserve and develop the largest number of brain neurons. As medical studies show, children with whom their mothers “taught” before birth have higher health and psychomotor development indicators in the first year of life than ordinary newborns.

Your main task, your goal of upbringing before birth is to lay in the child the foundation of high qualities, abilities and potentialities that he can develop in the future, influence his tastes and preferences.

The basic principle on which the upbringing of a child before his birth is based is that a baby who is in a close emotional connection with you is able to perceive a wide variety of information, and is even capable of learning.

You should know that children who have completed antenatal education:

• They are born physiologically more mature.

• Adapts more easily to the environment at birth (born with eyes open, screams less, eats better, sleeps well).

• They get sick much less often in the first year of life.

• They are less likely to develop chronic diseases over the next few years.

• Infant breastfeeding rates are increasing.

• They develop faster physically and mentally (they have a greater amount of attention, memory, etc.).

• Typically have a higher IQ.

• They reach developmental milestones earlier, have better expressed creative abilities, and have a higher level of readiness for school.

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