Crying, in fact, is the only way a baby “communicates” with the outside world. So he tells his parents that his stomach or gums hurt when teething, expresses indignation about the wet diaper and reminds him that it is time to eat. And sometimes children cry because they are scared or bored. There are a lot of reasons. But this doesn’t make it any easier - incessant hysteria will make anyone lose their cool and go into panic. We have collected for you recommendations from pediatricians, child psychologists and development experts on how to calm a child.
So the baby is crying and doesn't seem to want to stop. He doesn’t want a pacifier, they fed him and gave him something to drink, changed his diaper, lubricated all the diaper rashes, gave him a remedy for stomach cramps, and even took his temperature just in case. In general, you need to exclude everything that young children usually “protest” against. Does not help? If there is no suspicion that the child is sick and needs to see a doctor urgently, we try other methods.
Pick up the baby and rock it
The very first thing that comes to mind is to take the baby in your arms, press it to your chest and rock it gently. It helps - has already been proven by millions of mothers. It is not necessary to sing at the same time; the measured sounds of “shhhh” will be enough. Walk around a little from room to room, and the goal will be achieved - the baby will calm down.
Christy Rivers, MD, a pediatrician in Fort Lauderdale, says gentle rocking can slow your baby's heart rate and relax his muscles. And the sounds “shhhhhh” serve as a kind of distraction maneuvers that help the baby focus on something else, and not on his own crying. In addition, do not forget about the power of the hormone oxytocin, which is also called the “cuddle hormone” - it relieves stress and soothes pain.
It seems simple. But first of all, mom needs to pull herself together. A child’s incessant hysterics can lead anyone to a breakdown, and along with nervous swaying, the stress will be transferred to the child. This is not a way to calm a baby down. We count to ten, breathe deeply and only then take the baby in our arms. We do not shake the baby like a rag doll, but rather rock it slightly.
We ask for help from relatives
In some cases, the mother's problems can be serious. If you feel that it is morally difficult for her, then the help of relatives will not be superfluous.
It's best to contact your dad. Of course, this should be done only when the mother is not in a quarrel with him. If he is at work, then call him and tell him how it is. He will give advice or try to arrive early.
It happens that dad has not been in the family for a long time and you can’t count on his support. Then you need to turn to the relative with whom your mother has the best relationship.
Contact him and tell him that your mother is very depressed and you are worried about her. A good relative will never refuse support.
Move the child to an upright position
Is your baby unable to calm down even if you hold him in your arms and rock him? It's time to change his position. Hold the baby so that your cheek is touching his head.
Psychologist Renee Jain says that babies under six months of age usually stop crying when you hold them in an upright position.
Studies show that the child immediately experiences a decrease in heart rate and calms down. According to some scientists, this reaction to a change in position is caused by the innate reflexes of the baby. This is probably some kind of signal for the child, which tells him that everything will be fine with him - his mother is holding him tightly and will not give him up to anyone, even if he has to make an emergency escape, you just need to calm down.
How to determine the cause of crying
If a baby experiences pain, fear or hunger, then his cry is usually loud, inviting, desperate. Many children in this situation have the same signs:
- Feeling hungry, the baby cries for a long time and very loudly. If the desire to eat is not satisfied, then the child begins to choke. Once in the mother's arms, the baby will immediately begin to look for the breast and bury its nose in the mother.
- A child who is in pain cries pitifully and desperately. If the pain occurs suddenly, sharply, the baby will scream loudly and loudly.
- Crying from fear is similar to hysterics. In this case, it is important to quickly pick up the child and calm him down. Let him feel that he is not in danger.
The easiest way to determine what exactly is bothering your baby is to check each of the possible causes. To do this, you need to offer him food and drink. Take it in your arms and check if it is cold or, conversely, if it is sweating. Check the diaper and change it if necessary. If everything is in order, then it may be enough for the baby that someone approached him and showed him care and affection.
Sing to the child
If your nerves are not yet at their limit and your voice is not trembling from incessant screams, you can sing to your baby. And not just lullabies - it's time to expand your repertoire. Try different genres of songs - from folk to rock. You never know what tune your baby will like.
Sing softly while holding your baby to your chest. Dr. Rivers says a mother's familiar voice can calm even the most intense child tantrums. Melodious sounds will help reduce the child's heart rate and breathing rate. So don't underestimate the power of your own voice, even if you're not Taylor Swift.
How Can Parents Deal with Their Frustration?
Is your baby fussy and testing your patience? Here's what you should do to stay calm and deal with disappointment effectively.
- Count to 10 and take a deep breath: don't let crying get on your nerves. Taking deep breaths can help relieve internal tension. You can get distracted by counting to ten or even more.
- Sing or play a song for yourself: Sing or listen to a song that makes you happy or relaxed. Choose a song that is likely to calm your baby too.
- Assign a friend or family member to take care of baby duties: Ask your partner to look after a crying baby. If you live in a joint family, then delegate the task to a family member. If you are all alone, call a friend or family member to your home to help you.
Having someone else take care of your baby will give you some rest. During this time, do household chores or listen to music that will calm you down.
- Understand that babies cry: Just because your baby cries a lot doesn't mean you're a bad parent. Crying is a child's natural way of expressing frustration and releasing stress. If your baby is otherwise healthy but is crying, it is because he wants to, not because you have done anything wrong. So don't blame yourself or doubt your parenting abilities every time your baby cries.
Most importantly, never push, pull, or force your baby to stop crying. Slapping or punishing a baby is not a good idea as it can make the crying worse and also make him feel unhappy. If your baby's crying has become the biggest problem for parents, consult a pediatrician who will explain to you the reasons why your baby is crying.
Keep in mind that your baby will eventually stop crying as he grows up. Be patient and follow preventive methods to cope with difficult moments with your baby. You will learn to cope better with your baby's crying with experience.
Do you have two tricks to calm a crying baby? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.
Swaddle the baby
Renowned pediatrician Harvey Karp from the Southern California Medical Institute, author of books on child health and development, suggests creating a safe environment for a crying baby, to which he was accustomed in the womb. And it is recommended to start with swaddling. According to a specialist, sometimes the reflexive twitching of a child’s arms and legs only “provokes” his hysteria. You need to fix them briefly in one position.
We call upon all our self-control and swaddle the crying baby, and then rock him steadily in our arms. If swaddling techniques are nothing more than an empty phrase for you, try simply wrapping your baby in a blanket, pressing his arms to his body. The hysteria must stop.
Create white noise
Another recommendation from pediatrician Harvey Karp to calm your baby is to create white noise for him. You can use it when the baby has not stopped crying for a long time. The specialist explains the effectiveness of this technique as follows.
Children in the womb are immersed in a constant measured noise of about 90 dB. For babies up to at least six months, this is a guarantee of peace and safety. Therefore, to make the hysteria subside, let’s try to recreate white noise.
What could it be? Try turning on a fan, vacuum cleaner, or hair dryer. Or just quietly hum “shhhh.” If it doesn’t work, you can find a recording of soft white noise on the Internet and play it for your child.
How to Calm a Crying Child?
To calm your baby, you must first find out what is causing the discomfort. Below are various steps and methods to figure it out and calm a crying baby:
Check the basic requirements:
- First check to see if there is any basic requirement that needs to be met.
- Start by checking to see if your baby has soiled his diapers.
- Check your feeding schedule and see if it's time for your baby to feed. Avoid erratic feeding patterns as this will make it difficult to tell when your baby is hungry.
- Make sure your baby is dressed appropriately for the weather and the ambient temperature. If not, dress your baby in appropriate clothing and adjust the room temperature to what is best for the season.
Check for disease:
- Does your baby's body feel warm to the touch? If so, it could be a fever and it would be a good idea to check your temperature. For the most accurate reading, check the rectal temperature with a digital thermometer in babies younger than three months.
- If you are unsure how to take your rectal temperature, consult your doctor.
- If your baby has other signs of illness, such as loss of appetite, weakness and cold, then it is likely that he is crying due to pain and discomfort.
Hold, hug and massage
- If your baby is healthy and has no signs of illness, then it is likely that he only needs a little reassurance.
- Pick up your baby and hold him close to you until he calms down. A comfortable hug will help ease their anxiety and frustration.
- You can also massage your baby. Gently massage your tummy in a clockwise, circular motion to improve digestion. You can also gently massage your baby's limbs and back to soothe them.
Swaddle your baby:
- Medical experts say that swaddling resembles the conditions inside the womb and thus calms the baby. Swaddling helps soothe babies and improve sleep.
- Swaddling is best for babies under two months of age, as older babies may try to roll around in the swaddle and get into a dangerous position.
- Wrap your baby tightly in a small blanket. Be sure to fold the blankets up from your feet, fold the two ends over one another, and tuck the whole thing in neatly.
- After swaddling, always place your baby to sleep on his back. If your baby is over four months old, he may roll from his tummy to his back, and at six months, he may roll from his back to his tummy. Therefore, if you want to swaddle a baby aged four months or older, always keep him under supervision.
Rock baby gently
- If your baby continues to cry even after swaddling, gently rock him in your arms.
- You can also place them in the cradle and gently rock the cradle to soothe a crying baby.
Sing or read to your child
- Sing a song or read a nursery rhyme to distract your baby. Ask your partner or other family members to help keep your child engaged.
- You can also hum a tune to soothe your crying baby while gently rocking him in your arms.
Play a soothing sound or song
- If singing doesn't work, play music through a speaker. Choose soothing music of your choice and play it at low volume to soothe your crying baby.
- Some babies feel better listening to sounds from nature, such as birds chirping, running water, and rustling leaves. Some babies enjoy lullabies or even pop music.
- The study noted that infants tend to prefer music with a repeating melody, likely because they are accustomed to repetitive sounds in the womb, such as the mother's heartbeat and blood constantly moving through the blood vessels.
Take them for a walk
- A change of scenery can be a great distraction for your baby, especially when he seems to be crying out of boredom.
- You can take your child to a place where there are some interesting things to do. A park would be a good idea.
Give your baby a pacifier
- If all else fails, you can offer your baby a pacifier. Babies find sucking soothing and always find comfort by putting their fingers in their mouth. It is normal for your baby to use a pacifier before bed.
- The Academy of Pediatrics recommends using a one-piece pacifier, which is made from a single piece of material.
One of these techniques should calm your baby and stop him crying. Please note that you may have to try one or more before you find the one that suits your baby. In the meantime, you should do your best to remain calm and not get upset.
Play a recording of your baby crying
A very original way to calm a child, which some mothers resort to, is to play a recording of the baby’s own crying. It sounds strange, but sometimes it works - the child stops the hysteria.
Dr. Rivers explains this “phenomenon” as follows. Sometimes babies literally get “stuck” in their own crying and cannot get out of it. Here you need to quickly distract him. And strange sounds like crying help. “Babies are so interested in the world around them that even previously unfamiliar sounds can break the ongoing cycle of crying,” says Dr.
So next time, don’t forget to record how your baby cries. Will be useful for the future.
Dim the lights
Crystal Clancy, MD, a family physician in Lexington, advises dimming the lights to calm your baby. There is no need to create pitch darkness, this can only frighten the baby, intensifying his hysteria. Dim the lights a little and rock your baby while singing a song. It should work. The doctor explains this effect in the following images.
Even infants can become overstimulated when surrounded by the bright lights and noises of everyday life. For now, this is an alien environment for them. So it’s worth trying to make the environment a little calmer and less annoying - at least turn off the lights.
Basic ways to calm a crying baby
Regardless of the nature of the crying and its causes, there are several universal ways that will help a young mother calm her baby.
Method 1
One of the most common methods is swaddling. You should not confuse diapers with straitjackets, because, unlike this “form of clothing,” diapers warm the baby and allow him to take a comfortable position. In addition, wrapped in diapers, the baby again remembers his mother’s womb, where he spent so much time. The most important question to be resolved in such a situation is how tightly to swaddle the toddler. Experts recommend tightening the diapers quite tightly, but the child should not be completely constrained in his movements.
Method 2
Sometimes the baby cries because she is lying in an uncomfortable position. In this case, the most reliable way is to change position. It is best to do the following:
- turn the baby over;
- position him so that his stomach lies on his mother’s palm;
- Place the baby's head in the crook of your elbow.
Babies love this position and calm down quickly. It is especially effective for colic, as hand pressure relieves pain. Plus, the baby enjoys feeling the warmth of his mother’s skin.
Another option is to place the baby on your lap along your legs. Most often, the baby settles comfortably in a warm and comfortable cavity.
Method 3
One of the most powerful instincts in infants is the instinct to suck. Knowing this fact allows you to quickly calm your baby. As soon as your baby starts crying, give him a pacifier. In a matter of minutes, the baby should calm down. Experts conducted a study, the results of which showed: a pacifier can protect against sudden infant death syndrome, which horrifies all mothers without exception.
Method 4
This method is associated with sounds, since some babies very often need unobtrusive noise. The fact is that, being in the mother’s tummy, the baby is accustomed to hearing different sounds: from the physiological processes occurring in the woman’s body to the noise that surrounded her in real life. If you create a similar atmosphere for your toddler, he will feel like he is in a familiar environment and will quickly calm down.
You can turn on pleasant, calm music or TV - this is not of key importance. The main thing is to adjust the volume correctly so that the baby is comfortable. You can remember what you watched or listened to while you were pregnant to recreate those times as much as possible for your baby.
Method 5
This is one of the simplest and most popular methods that has been helping young mothers for many years. Taking a crying child in your arms, you need to quietly and soulfully pronounce the sound “shhhh”. Gentle intonation and soothing noise will help the child calm down. According to the pediatrician, you need to “shush” loudly enough. Otherwise, the baby simply will not hear you because of his crying.
Method 6
You can calm your child down with a simple conversation. If the baby is worried and crying, then start saying some nice words to him, looking into his eyes. In this way, you can let your baby know that you are nearby and can protect him from any troubles. The little one should feel supported and cared for, so it is better to accompany any action with a conversation.
Method 7
It is very important to provide the baby with movement. The fact is that while in the mother’s womb, the child gets used to constantly moving, because there the baby swims or jumps along with the mother’s movements. You can try to recreate the same environment, as it helps the baby calm down and fall asleep faster.
You can try rocking your baby in your arms or using auxiliary objects, such as a lounge chair or cradle. If they are not there, then the chair with the baby can be placed on any vibrating surface. But it is very important not to leave the child unattended, as this can be dangerous.
Method 8
With her own hands, a mother can relieve any pain. Infants especially need parental touch. To calm your child, you can give him a light massage:
- undress the toddler and place him on his back;
- stroke the baby’s legs and arms with slow movements, linger on the tummy;
- turn the baby over on his stomach and massage his back with circular movements;
- don’t forget to say kind words or sing your favorite melody quietly.
Such actions will distract the baby and quickly calm him down.
Method 9
In most cases, babies cry due to colic in the tummy. They are caused by bottle feeding, since in the process the baby inadvertently swallows air, which puts pressure on the baby’s stomach. In order to avoid such unpleasant situations, it is recommended to purchase an anti-colic bottle, which was invented specifically for these purposes. The creators of the anti-colic bottle made sure that a vacuum did not form in it. As a result, the baby may not tear himself away from the container.
Method 10
Many parents are saved by the presence of a so-called sling or kangaroo backpack. The fact is that this device allows the baby to stay as close as possible to the parent’s body and receive the necessary movement, which we wrote about earlier. This is a universal means of calming a baby.
Method 11
Let's return to the issue of colic. Because a small child cries, he swallows even more air, which aggravates the pain. Consequently, there will be more gas, which means more crying. It is necessary, if not to prevent air from entering, then at least to help get rid of it. Most often this is done through regurgitation. To do this you need to do the following:
- gently slap on the back;
- hold it in a “column” at the shoulder.
Method 12
However, the reason for crying may be external discomfort, not internal. The first step is to check the baby's diaper, and then see if the baby is overheated (or overcooled). To do this, you should feel the baby's arms, legs, neck and nose. If everything is in order, then you should give the baby water - maybe he is just thirsty.
It makes sense to put different clothes on the little one or change the lighting in the room. One of these actions will help eliminate the baby's dissatisfaction.
Method 13
The main thing is to distract the child from crying. To do this, you can use absolutely any methods - rustle, call, sing, shake rattles, turn on melodies on your mobile phone. The baby should notice something that will attract his attention.
Method 14
Towards evening, the likelihood of colic in a baby increases, especially in those who are breastfed. The reason for this is the constant change in the composition of milk: in the evening the concentration of fats and hormones changes. There is an old grandfather's method - dill water, which is given to the baby during meals. You can also purchase a special product in pharmacies.
It is necessary to understand that in a situation where none of the above methods help, there is nothing left but contacting a pediatrician. The doctor must make sure that the baby’s health is not in danger.
Be healthy!
Hold a baby using Robert Hamilton's method
Robert Hamilton, a pediatrician from Santa Monica with extensive experience, shared on his YouTube channel a few years ago a very original way to stop a child’s tantrum. In the video, he calms babies by holding them in his arms using a special technique. Surprisingly, all babies stop crying in just a couple of seconds. Either the doctor just has magic hands, or the method really works.
The point is this. We fold the baby's arms crosswise on the chest and fix them in this position with one hand. We lift the baby. And with the other hand we hold it under the diaper. You need to take the child so that he is in his hands with his tummy down and at an angle to the floor of about 45 degrees. Now you can gently rock the baby. Done - now you can enjoy the silence, the hysteria is over
Don't forget an important detail - do not hold the baby straight upright! Just a little tilted. Because the baby's head may fall back.
As the doctor says, this method is suitable to calm a baby up to three months. Then it will be difficult to keep the child in this position.
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